She always finds love when she's not looking....stop "looking" they say...and it will happen.  "It" being romantic companionship.  "Looking" being active searching. “You’re young, you’ve got plenty of time”.  Says the women who got married in their 20’s and some earlier.  Says the women who have already experience marriage and family.  That statement is tossed around so casually.  In most cases, it’s unrealistic…let’s be frank.  We ALL know how quickly time flies by.  That was a sidebar and personal rant.  Ok…back to love showing up when least expected.

I'm single, and I can't tell you how many times I've heard that line and/or testimony.  I can't tell you how many days I have had to sit myself down, quiet my emotions and literally wreck my brain trying to figure out how to stop "looking".  I have thought myself into circles, passing the same thoughts, ideas and questions - several too many times. I had to think outside the box--multiples circles--that may have finally landed me to a triangular thought that pointed me to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit....I think I've gained some clarity, and I'd like to offer a distinction.  Could it be that often times "looking" is used as an interchangeable term -- many times confused with feeling the heaviness/ache of a desire that was placed in us women from the constructs of time? If the term "looking" is in reference to acknowledging your hearts desires, how do you ever really stop that? Born to sing, naturally gifted and skilled.  Even if they chose not to be a professional singer, they will always be attached to music.  Something in them will always attract them, pull them to music.  In their spare time, they find themselves giving their time and energy to things in which they can engage in the creativity that is musicality--even if never in the spotlight.  Why? It's innate.  When they don't follow it, it follows them.  Someone born with the gift of helps or service (a nurse, doctor, someone in hospitality, etc.) will always find themselves in areas where they are servicing or assisting someone on some level.  Why?  It's not something that can be detached from who they are--who they were created to be. It always shows up, even when unwanted. Eve....the mother of all mothers, daughters and sisters.  She is our genesis as female human beings.  The genesis of woman.  She was created from the rib of man. She was created from the rib of her husband.  She is an extension of he, created by we.  "We" - Father, Son, Holy Spirit.  The holy triangle.  Perfect union.  Perfect relationship. So perfect, that they are one. One body, one spirit...We (women) are images of a perfect union and extensions of man--husband man.  No wonder we feel the tug of companionship (Genesis 2:18-22, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Again, we have all heard the testaments of people who stopped “looking” and it showed up.  Firstly, I don’t consider myself to be looking for love or a mate – and some of you ladies may not either!  But I know I have a strong desire for companionship.  Now…if what people mean is stop thinking about it—stop feeling it-- and it will show up….what’s the remedy to that?!!  How do you stop yearning for, thinking about and feeling something that is imbedded so deeply in your heart…even from the beginning of time? The only thing I could come up with is management.  And as humans, there’s only so much we can control.  Behaviors, yes.  Feelings….ehhhh.  The heart can be unruly.  Defying all logic, advice, behaviors and management.  Rebellious.  Your desires, passions, purpose, gifts, and talents flow from your heart.  Like a tail on a cat...that's why they follow you....they are you.  When it’s on you and in you…how do you escape that?  How do you “forget” that?  How do you act like that doesn’t exist?  You desire it, so you feel it.  Unescapable.  

My prayer for all of us single women who strongly desire companionship - is that God move with perfection, and expediency on all of our behalves.  My prayer is that Godly men step up.  Below is an excerpt of “Praying the Scripture for Healthy Marriage” that I randomly wrote one day:

[Judges 21:21 “… When the young women of Shiloh come out to join in the dancing, rush from the vineyards and each of you seize one of them to be your wife. Then return to the land of Benjamin.”

Prayer: Lord, illuminate me in the eyes of my companion, so I may be seen by him—captivating his affections.  Once the mate you designed for me has come into the understanding that you created us for each other, allow him to move quickly in pursuit of us being united.]

Some people won’t be honest—but I will.  Waiting on God…sounds holy and righteous, right?  But in real time…you may wanna get you a box of Kleenex and a pint of icecream.  It can be hard and discouraging…He operates from eternity…time (the way we know it) is nothing but a word to Him.  It’s ok to feel this desire.  And it's ok to ask Him to move swiftly!!  I pray a sudden release of companionship and post-haste in earthly time.

And in the meantime, that God dull the ache, give us peace and focus us for the journey before us.  May the meantime be a productive place.

A lot of thoughts in one place…but hopefully…you get the point, and if you feel how I feel…know you’re not alone.

Comments are always welcomed :-)

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Stay tuned…Tootles